First and Last Read online

  First and Last

  Copyright © 2016 by Rachael Duncan

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, distributed, stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form of by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, without express permission of the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes, if done so constitutes a copyright violation. This book is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and events are fictitious in every regard. Any similarities to actual events and persons, living or dead, are purely coincidental. Any trademarks, service marks, product names, or named features are assumed to be the property of their respective owners and are used only for reference. There is no implied endorsement if any of these terms are used.

  Edited by:

  Nichole Strauss with Perfectly Publishable

  Interior Design and Formatting by:

  Christine Borgford with Perfectly Publishable

  Cover Designed by:

  Marisa Shor with Cover Me, Darling

  Photographer:

  Lauren Perry with Perrywinkle Photography

  Table of Contents

  First and Last

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Epilogue

  Author’s Note

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Other Books by Rachael Duncan

  To those who selflessly risk their lives and the families they leave behind.

  Present

  Thwack . . . thwack . . thwack . . . thwack . . .

  The sound of the propellers is music to my ears. It’s the noise I live for and miss during the offseason in the winter months. For me, the blades cutting through the air signals excitement and adventure. Sitting in this small plane with four of my other colleagues, today is no different.

  I’m a smokejumper, which means I’m the type of firefighter who parachutes into wildfires, stopping them before they spread. A small one has been spotted in the northern part of the forest here in Redmond. It’s far from posing any real threat to civilians, and it’s our job to keep it that way. But with the drought we’ve been having all over Oregon and the strong winds from today, this thing could go from small to completely uncontained real fucking quick.

  “ETA five minutes,” Chief shouts to us, letting us know we’re almost to the drop zone. I give him a thumbs up in response.

  Standing up, I walk to the side door, brace both of my hands on either side of it, and lean out the opening. A large, black cloud billows up from the trees and toward the sky, blanketing the ruthless flames I know are below. The wind bends the smoke, sending it south and providing the ammunition it needs to grow.

  “What are the wind gusts?” I ask.

  “Twenty miles per hour from the north, northeast. It’s tough out there, so make sure you stay above the ridge. You get too close in front of it, you’ll be fucked if it whips around.”

  “Roger that.”

  A few minutes later, we’re in position and jumping out of the plane. My arms fold over my reserve that’s strapped to the front of me as I free-fall, waiting for my parachute to catch me.

  One-one thousand, two-one thousand, three—

  My chute opens, jerking me in the process as it slows my descent. It’s always a good day when your parachute opens like it’s supposed to. Reaching up, I grab my risers and pull on the left one to steer me in the direction of my landing zone. There’s a really small opening in the trees that we’re all aiming for. As long as I don’t hit any crazy down drafts, I should make it. Otherwise, I’m landing in the trees, and that’ll suck balls.

  When my feet hit the ground, I’m pumped as adrenaline courses through my veins. There’s no other high like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, and I can’t believe someone pays me to do it. I’m quickly pulled back to the reason I’m here as my lungs take in oxygen and protest because of the ash and smoke that’s polluting the air.

  We take off our jumpsuits, leaving us in a lightweight, long-sleeved shirt that’s flame retardant with cargo pants. After our supply boxes are dropped in for us, we grab our tools and hash out a plan.

  “Alright, let’s get around on its west side, start clearing material and work from there,” my boss instructs.

  With our tools in hand, we make the two-mile hike to where we need to be. The closer we get, the thicker the smell of burning wood gets. With each step, I get an ominous feeling that moves up my spine. I try my best to shake it off, to tell myself this is any other day at the office, but the thought won’t leave me alone.

  “You alright there, Blake?” Sam asks me. We’ve been buddies ever since we went through the rookie course together.

  “Yeah, just feeling weird, I guess.”

  “What about?” he asks with pinched eyebrows.

  “I don’t know.” I shake my head. “It’s nothing.” He slaps me on the back a few times and we keep trekking.

  We’ve been chopping away at the small brush for about an hour now. It’s back breaking work, but we’re finally making progress.

  I wipe the sweat off my brow with my sleeve before tilting my head back and looking up at the sky. The smoke looks like it’s blowing directly over us. If that’s the case, then it’s likely the fire will start to move toward us, and that’s not a good thing.

  “Hey, Chick, you keeping tabs on the wind?” I ask our chief, using his nickname.

  “Yeah, reports say it’s coming in from the northeast last I checked.”

  “You sure? I’ve been watching and I think it’s shifted.” Both of us look upward through the trees.

  “Okay, keep working and I’ll watch it. If it is coming this way, we need to have as much of this cleared as possible, anyway to slow the fire.”

  With a simple nod, I get back to work, but this feels wrong. We need to move before we get boxed in.

  “I got a bad feeling about this,” I tell Sam quietly as I swing my ax at some more brush. “We need to get out of here.”

  “Relax, man. Chick’s watching the wind. He knows what he’s doing.” I try to repeat his words to convince myself, but this small voice inside my head won’t shut the hell up.

  Thirty minutes later, we’re still working down the line, but the sound of the inferno is getting louder. I glance over at my boss every now and then to make sure he’s keeping tabs on this. It’s not even two minutes l
ater that he’s telling us we need to move positions. Looking through the gaps in the trees, I see the flames flickering, taunting us, letting us know who’s in charge here.

  Without delay, we head back down south to move around and get a better angle of attack on this expanding monster. Sweat runs down my face as the blast of the heat hits me from my left. When everything is this dry, it’s not uncommon for the fire to jump from one tree to the next instead of slowly crawling to it. That’s what’s making me nervous right now. With us being this close, one of these embers could float over and ignite on the other side of us and we’d be surrounded. Then we’d be fucked.

  Right as this thought crosses my mind, I look ahead and see the worst-case scenario. Up in front of us is a wall of fire with a narrow path through the middle.

  “Should we try to go around?” Sam asks.

  “Who knows how far it goes. There’s a small opening. We need to hurry and get the hell out of here,” Chick tells us.

  Crouching down low, we all start running through this tunnel of fury. The crackling of the burning forest and roar of the blaze is deafening. I feel it at my back, orange and red fingers clawing at me, trying to engulf me, but I keep pushing on.

  A loud pop sounds to my left. I stop and look just in time to see a huge tree coming down.

  “Watch out!” I shout. I dive out of the way, the tree narrowly missing me. “Son of a bitch,” I mutter to myself. Getting up, I look back and see the tree is blocking my way out of here. Worse, it’s now separating me from the rest of the team.

  “You okay, Blake?” Chick yells.

  “Yeah, you guys go. I’ll go around and meet up with you at the drop zone,” I say over the flames.

  “Okay, watch your ass.”

  “Roger that.”

  Hurrying back the way I came, I get the hell out of this burning trap and head back west to try to move around this thing. With any luck, it hasn’t spread too far in that direction and I can get back on course soon.

  I hike for forty-five minutes before I’m in the clear and can move south again. All looks good headed this way, and I’m thankful for that. The terrain is steep, with numerous cliffs around. It’s hell to traverse with all of my gear and I find myself stepping the wrong way on the loose gravel, losing my footing.

  I fall back on my ass and tumble down the side of this hill with no control. My hands reach out for anything to grab hold of to stop myself, but I’m going too fast. When I see the ledge I’m quickly approaching, I go into panic mode. With every ounce of strength within me, I dig my heels and hands into the ground in a desperate attempt to stop. I slow down, but it’s not enough.

  Right before I fall over the edge, there’s only one thing going through my mind.

  Mia.

  April 1998

  “Where’s your sidekick?” Luke, my brother, asks as he raids the refrigerator.

  “She’s grounded,” I grumble. Who knew her punishment would bum me out too? I put the last of my homework in my backpack and hop off the stool at the counter.

  “Uh oh, what’d Mia do?” Dad asks as he sorts through the mail.

  “She got a D in math.”

  He looks up at me with his eyebrows pulled in. “How? You’re good at math. Why aren’t you helping her?”

  I let out a sigh. “She’s not teachable, Dad. She’s good with words, horrible with numbers.”

  He chuckles slightly. “Oh, stop it. I’m sure it’s not that bad.” With a raised eyebrow, I just stare at him. He has no idea.

  “The other day she forgot what twelve times twelve is,” I deadpan.

  He pauses for a second before saying, “Okay, maybe she can get a tutor.”

  “How long is she grounded?” Luke pipes in again. He’s four years older than me. Now that he’s a junior in high school, we hardly see him. In fact, I think this is the most I’ve talked to him all week. He’s either working or with his girlfriend.

  “Until she brings her grade up.” I plop down on the couch and flip through the channels.

  He bites into an apple. “Wow, her dad isn’t playing,” he says with his mouth full.

  “Nope.”

  “What’s going on with the two of you anyway? You’re always together. Hell, by the look on your face, you’d think you were the one grounded.” Luke gives me a hard time about our friendship often. I don’t know why it’s so hard for him to understand that I don’t see her like that. Just because he chases after everything in a skirt, doesn’t mean I have to.

  Mia and I became friends the first day she moved next door when we were six. She looked so sad, and all I wanted to do was make her happy. So, I invited her over for grilled cheese sandwiches. We’ve been inseparable ever since.

  I roll my eyes. “Nothing. For the hundredth time, she’s my best friend. Now lay off.”

  “Leave your brother alone,” Dad scolds.

  “Geez, everyone is so touchy. I wonder why?” I grab the pillow next to me and chuck it at his face. He dodges it with a laugh.

  “Get out of here,” Dad semi-warns. With that, Luke grabs a water bottle and heads out the front door.

  “So, what’s on your agenda this afternoon then?” Dad has a seat on the couch next to me.

  I shrug. “I think Josh might come over to play video games for a little while.” He nods his head, letting me know he heard me. At that moment, the doorbell rings. “That’s probably him.” I run over to the door, open it, and let him in. “Hey, what’s up?”

  “Not much.” Josh is almost as tall as I am with the same color brown hair, but I have green eyes and his are brown.

  We both run upstairs and I start up Mario Party on my new Nintendo 64. Josh and I weren’t always friends. Actually, for a while, I hated him. That’s probably because he was mean to Mia in the first grade. Her first week at our school, Josh kept making fun of her at lunch until she cried, calling her a cry baby. Dad always told me to stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves, so I got up, walked right up to him, and punched him in the nose. Mia wasn’t the only one crying that day.

  We’re playing for a while before Josh starts talking. “I don’t know how you do it, man.”

  Without taking my eyes off the screen, I ask, “What are you talking about?”

  “Mia. How have you not tried to go out with her?”

  “What’s up with everyone today? First my brother, now you? Like I’ve said a million times before, I don’t see her that way. She might as well be a dude to me.”

  “Are you blind, Blake? Have you looked at her recently? She’s definitely not that nerdy girl anymore. She’s hot!”

  “Dude, you’re grossing me out.”

  “No, seriously. She’s got a nice butt and some boobs now. I can’t believe you haven’t noticed.” He shakes his head like he’s disappointed in me.

  “I will punch you,” I say with no inflection in my voice. This isn’t the first time people have asked about Mia and me. I guess I’m surprised that after all this time, people still find it hard to believe that we’re just friends.

  “Okay, okay. I’ll drop it.” We go back to playing our video game for a second before he reiterates, “She’s hot.” Rolling my eyes, I push him before focusing back on the screen.

  Josh goes home before dinner. I’ve just finished helping Mom clear the table when I run to the front door. “I’m going to Mia’s. Be back soon!” I yell as I try to escape.

  “Hold it, mister,” Mom says, stopping me. “First, it’s dark and getting late. Second, she’s grounded. You can’t go over there.”

  “I’m going to ask Mr. Avery if I can tutor her in math to help pull her grade up.” Mom gives me her famous “do I look stupid?” look. “No, really. Plus, it was Dad’s idea.” Now she focuses in on Dad. I should probably feel bad for throwing him under the bus, but I don’t.

  “Really, Frank?”

  He shrugs as if it’s no big deal, but his wide eyes give away his guilt. “I just said that he’s good at math, so it didn’t mak
e sense that she got a D when they hang out twenty-four/seven.”

  “I’ll be five minutes, Mom. That’s it,” I plead.

  “Fine, but if her dad sends you home, you’re not to go over there again until you’re invited. Am I clear?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” I sprint out of there before Mom can change her mind.

  Instead of going up to the front door, I run around back. There’s a lattice that goes up the house with green ivy growing up it. Mia’s dad is always getting onto us about climbing it to get into her room, telling us we’re going to break it and hurt ourselves. Well, I guess I’m not going to listen today either.

  I do my best to climb this thing as quietly as possible. The last thing I want is to get her in more trouble, especially since she doesn’t even know I’m coming over. Once I’m to the top, I reach over and lightly tap on the window. A minute goes by and I’m starting to wonder if she’s even in her room. I knock again, this time a little harder. The sound of the window latch clicking lets me know that she’s opening it. A second later, she’s poking her head out, looking confused as ever.

  “What are you doing?” she asks.

  “I came by to see you.” My arms are getting tired and start to shake from holding myself up.

  “Why?”

  I shrug a little. “I’m bored.”

  She rolls her eyes and opens the window a bit more. “Come on in.” She moves away and I carefully reach out and basically fall into her room.

  “Crap,” I whisper, hoping her dad didn’t hear the loud thump.

  “Relax, he’s not here.”

  “Where did he—” My brain stops functioning as soon as I turn around and see her. She has on small, cotton shorts that look glued to her butt, and a white tank top that shows a thin strip of her stomach. My mouth goes dry and I’m stunned speechless. This isn’t the Mia I’ve known for eight years. Standing in front of me is someone completely different. Someone who looks way older than the kid I’ve always seen. Josh is right; how have I missed this? When did my best friend go from this nerdy girl who always wore those stupid dresses to this hottie with a killer body?

  “Earth to Blake.” She waves her hand in front of my face to snap me out of it. I blink several times and shake my head slightly. “What’s your deal?”